The Joy of Collective Living

There is no need to point out the obvious. How we live as a community and the structure of our families has undergone multiple revisions over the millenia since our hunter-gatherer ancestors. The shrinking size of families is soon turning into a cause for concern. Or it already has. The truism that no man is an island had wavered as technology and modern day attitudes made the Individual self-sufficienct. Personal boundaries became sacred and one could very well be an island. But in the hustle for independence, we seem to have lost or forgotten our ability to make and retain social connections. Social isolation is becoming a reality for a majority of the world population - small families living across the world from their homes, young professionals living alone, empty nesters and senior citizens with no access to a support system. Most of us barely know our neighbors, let alone talk to them or ask for help. Now more than ever, it is beginning to take a toll on us, the social beings. We might have learnt to live in our little self-contained bubbles but, loneliness is catching up with us.

This is not irreversible as yet. With awareness, we can gear up to find solutions to this pervasive problem. We only need to look back into our past for pointers. The Havelis of Northern India, or the Naalukettu or Agraharams of the South are pertinent examples (albeit, elite ones) of communal living before it made way for nuclear families. The household consisted of a coterie of people beyond the immediate family. They were mini-villages on their own. Privacy was not high up on their list of priorities. This could be translated to fit in our current needs and the context of modern day living. In fact, people were already reverting to co-housing as an alternative way of living as far back as the 1970's in Denmark. With the common goal of collaborative living, cohousing societies enhances interaction with neighbours, and relieves pressure on individual households with their model of shared responsibilities and resources.Most importantly, co-housing nurtures the basic human need for the sense of belonging. Such social relationships help harness the spirit of the community. In her TED talk, architect Grace Kim refers to this as 'Communitas', which author Edith Turner, in her book, refers to as the collective joy in shared experiences. This is an essential ingredient to our pyschological and emotional well-being.

People have varying needs for social interactions. While some enjoy constant company, there might be others who prefer to have a lot of time to themselves. The co-housing system can be flexible to cater to such a wide spectrum of social demand. Members can choose their level of participation and contribute in ways, playing to their strengths. But it does expect everyone to be a part of the administration. One way to run a co-housing society without hassles is to follow a system of sociocratic system of governance. It is an inclusive and objective method that succeeds in creating a harmonious social environment. While the idea of co-houding is coming back into practice, there is a lack of awareness holding it back. There is a necessity for broader recognition amongst builders and public housing policy makers, about the needs and desires of people everywhere. The success of existing societies should be a testament to the fact that we need to work towards a change.

Further Reading:

1. The Hot New Millennial Housing Trend Is a Repeat of the Middle Ages

2. Children need 100 parents

3. The Case For Cohousing: Where Responsibilities Are Shared And Life Is A Little Less Lonely

4. Milagro Cohousing